Top whatevers of 2008

We'll keep the formalities at a minimum and jump into my biased opinions.

Formality: Happy 2009. Hope your 2008 was decent.

Biased Opinions:

Top 7 Albums of 2008.

7. Coldplay - Viva la Vida
Not immediately recognized by me as being a decent album, but it grew on me, and I thought the universal themes of love, life and death have been done... well, to death. But it's a nice easily digestible album.

6. Nine Inch Nails - The Slip
With Teeth meets Year Zero, to a point. It has the rock-band-esque styling of 2005's With Teeth and some of the glitchy stuff of 2007's Year Zero. And it was released for free. Free. With over a million downloads from nin.com. If you'd still like to give a bit of cash to Trent Reznor and company, it's available on amazon.com, iTunes or as a physical CD/DVD combo.

5. Jack Johnson - Sleep Through the Static
Not a major departure for those familiar with Jack Johnson, but I do feel that the addition of other instruments and adding a little bit of distortion on some of his guitarwork makes this album more accessible than his previous.

4. Ladytron - Velocifero
Now im not sure if this is going to replace Witching Hour as my favourite Ladytron album, but this feels much more fleshed out and I think the production done by Alessandro Cortini aided in this album feel compared to Witching Hour.

3. Does It Offend You, Yeah? - You Have No Idea What You're Getting Yourself Into
Influences of Daft Punk aside, this is just a fun album. Sure, it's just a combination of a lot of electronica mixed with some of the best rock elements with a splash of indie in there as well, but it does it well.

2. Modwheelmood - Pearls to Pigs Vols. 2-3
Add volume 1 to the other volumes and you have a full album. Just download it off of iTunes or Amazon (use amazon, DRM MP3's). It's a little eclectic, and at times inaccessible, but it's some of the best electronica I have ever listened to.

1. Amanda Palmer - Who Killed Amanda Palmer?
Produced by Ben Folds, this is by far, the best album of the year. Moody piano pieces such as "Strength Through Music", fun rocking songs like "Leeds United", songs that were once part of the Dolls live catalogue "Ampersand". Oh and although a song about date rape, abortion, pregnancy tests, having rumors being spread of being a crackwhore, going to a concert with someone you kinda hate, "Oasis" is a fucking catchy and fun song to sing along to. All in all, my favourite album of 2008.

Amanda Palmer "Oasis" Music Video from Amanda Palmer on Vimeo.

You can check out samples of songs on the respective myspaces.

Top 6 Movies of 2008 (up to October) that are worth the $8.50 to get in or the $20 DVD.

6. Teeth
When I first heard about this film, I thought it was a documentary; but upon viewing, it is one of the best indipendant releases of 2008. Vagina Dentata. Horror(ish), amusing(for sure) and an interesting 'coming of age' film.

5. Funny Games
A remake of a 1997 film, actually. A upper/upper-middle class family is assaulted by very polite and proper psychopaths. Excellent use of breaking the fourth wall, the American fascination of bad things happening to good people, and in general fucking with your head, a little bit.

4. Forgetting Sarah Marshell
Touted as a romantic comedy, but it was far from it. Yes, it has romantic and sappy elements. But it also has a lot of funny stuff. And lots of nudity. Mila Kunis' boobs, and Jason Segel's... well... everything. Ass, Crotch, face... and I'm not sure what's worse. It was basically a Judd Apatow-esque film with little splashes of romance in it. And it worked.

3. Wall-E
And on the other end of the spectrum from Sarah Marshell is the very family friendly film Wall-E from Disney/Pixar. The first human dialogue spoken by character that does not sound like beeps and boops is almost 40 mins into the film. Spectacular visual eff

2. The Dark Knight/Iron Man
Dark Knight: Pros: Casting/Acting/Story. Con: "Batman Voice"

Iron Man: Pros: Casting/Humor/Acting/Story. Con: Sam Jackson cocktease after the Credits.

1. Choke.
Although not a direct adaptation, it's fairly faithful to Chuck Palahniuk's book. Victor was cast perfectly as Sam Rockwell. Everyone else was done well. It is a very witty film, not the gut busting Seth Rogan/Judd Apatow humor, but it had me quietly laughing the whole time. But it does have moments of drama and moments that made me... uncomfortable. A very great film.

Top 5 Rifftrax of 2008.

5. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
"I will eat your imortal soul"

4. Jurassic Park
"Be werry werry qwiet, I'm hwunting waptors, huhuhuhuh."

3. Saw
"Shoot him."
"He won't move if you shoot him in the head."
"Nobody listens to me."

2. Spider Man 3
"Giant Anthropomorphic Sand Thief wouldn't make the headlines, of course."

1. Lion King (That Guy With The Glasses)
"Hey, maybe dad is next to that rotting corpse!"

Top 4 things that made me laugh unintentionally in 2008.

4. Pencil Tricks

3. SNL (NSFW/YouTubes)

2. Scientology v. Anonymous

1. Sarah Palin

Top 3 Things that did not live up to the hype.

3. Guns N Roses - Chinese Democracy
16 years, and I get a shitty record and a free can of Dr Pepper. Go reunite with Slash, then we'll talk, Axl.

2. Ron Paul
The most conservative legislator since 1937 leading a revolution? Give me a break

1. Cloverfield
An ARG to promote a JJ Abrhams project, my GOSH that has NEVER been done before! And it was having us guessing on WTF took off the Statue of Liberty for months ahead of time.

Top 2 People who might have changed the world in 2008

2. The 131,237,603 who let their voices be heard in the 2008 election process.

1. The United States Presidential Candidates

Top Concert You Shouldn't Have Missed.
Nine Inch Nails: Lights In The Sky

Trying to post this again

things that are pissing me off, again.

1. Television

TV, you had a GREAT good medocre run. I am going to give you Pros and Cons in various categories then decide if you're worth having around, TV.

1. Technology
Thanks to TV, we do have higher definition, remotes, portable movie players, Video on Demand, HDMI, and various ways of pirating TV and Movies. Howerver, with highdefinition comes great responcibilities. Who here has a Blu-ray Disc burner? Who has a HDMI ready computer monitor? Who really wants porn in high-def? For me, the answers are no, sort of, and Oh Dear Sweet Buddah NO!

2. Programming
With the exception of some brilliant programs, TV in the past 10, no 20 years have been shit. America loves (according to the Neilson Raitings) American Idol (2005-2008), CSI (2003-04), Friends (2002), Survivor (2001) and Who Wants to be A Millionaire (2000). So for half of the current decade we are living in, we've spend time watching idiots on gameshows trying to win either a million dollars(Survivor, Millionare, Idol), cars (Survivor, Idol) or a recording contract/souless existance (American Idol).

11 of the top 20 prime time telecasts from 1964-present have been sporting events. The only really redeaming quality of that list is that the series finale of MASH tops the list and the finale of Roots is at number 3.

So we watch reality TV and sports, programming in my opinion, that makes us docile and complacent, and does not teach us anything. Even the most basic sitcom has the basic premise of Good v. Bad or Idocy v. Intellegence. Sometimes they get the message right (M*A*S*H), sometimes they get it wrong (Seinfeld), sometimes they just leave us confused (LOST).

Programming on the History, Discovery, Investigation and A&E have much more intellegent programming than most of the other channels. Discovery Channel has MythBusters; FOX has Family Guy, need I say more

3. Storytelling

In case you haven't noticed, TV isn't about this anymore, it's about getting you to BUY BUY BUY shit that you do not need. Average half hour programs are actually 22 minuits, to allow for 8 minutes of commercials. Over the course of 10 hours, American viewers will see approximately 3 hours of advertisements. They are now thinking of using embedded ads to annoy people like me. Kind of like popup adds, or the annoying topper bars on old geocities webpages.

4. News
General Electric owns NBC, MSNBC, CNBC and Court TV.
Westinghouse is partners with CBS including 48 Hours and 60 Minutes.
Newscorp owns FOX and it's subsidearies.

Time Warner owns CNN.
Disney owns ABC.

We have no real news any more, Edward R. Murrow would be ashamed.

I say let's leave TV for now, watch and watch it all you want people. I'll continue to remain behind the times, and pirate the shows I like. And I'll gladly get my news from the internets.

2. l33tsp33k and or CaPaTaLiZiNg RandOM LETTErS

Okay, unless you are writing in a code (house of leaves), lolspeek and the aboved mentioned typography issues piss me the fuck off. I mean, internet culture is amusing to a degree, and I do use it, mostly in an ironic or sarcastic sense. Hell, this WebLog (figure it out kids) is an accidental reference to internet culture, and since I am posting this in them thar series of tubes I feel that I have a right to mock the idocy of the internet from time to time.

Lolcode, a programing language that mimics the speech patterns of captioned felines. An example follows.

HAI

CAN HAS STDIO?

PLZ OPEN FILE "LOLCATS.TXT"?

AWSUM THX

VISIBLE FILE

O NOES

INVISIBLE "ERROR!"

KTHXBYE

What the fuck, guys? Does this really DO anything? What are you trying to acomplish 

beside amusing me for 20 seconds?

3.Blogger.com

Okay, this is biting the hand that feeds you, but why the fuck did this post decide to not connect to 

blogger.com, then refuckingformat the post like 3 times. shit was going out of the edges, and I couldn't read 

what i typed origionaly.

EDIT: this is still fucked up in my little blogger.com window, text overlapping picture of the internets 

is all covered in text....  It pissed me off that all of this shit looks like crap on the entry page, and then 

crap on the page because somehow my html formatting got royaly fucked in the ass with a big rubber 

dildo with a mickymouse head on the end...

EDIT 2: trying to get this reformatted is pissing me off more and more. so, it's going up as is. eat my shit blogger.com

Things That are (currently) Pissing Me Off

1. Axl Rose and Guns 'n' Roses

So I take it we all know that Axl Rose is releasing the 15+ years in the making album Chinese Democracy. Har har, cute name because it's an oxymoron. And psudo-ironic.

I enjoy old GnR, Lies and Appetite were both solidly good recordings, and to me, bring back
a nostalgia of childhood/early teenage years when I really got into 'Rock'.

But if you are like me, you've grown sick of the hype surrounding this upcoming release. Axl is the only origional member from GNR to appear on the album, so why not call it a solo album or something else. Dizzy Reed joined GnR when it was at it's peak, and for touring reasons. He did appear on UYI 1&2, and is the only tie that Rose has with the peak the band experienced in the early 1990's.



I expect this album to be top of the charts the week it's released. A lot of fans remember GnR, and will buy anything that has it's name on it. And they have made a lot more fans since they've been inactive since 1993-4. I don't deny that this is fricking awesome, because I'll get a free Dr. Pepper, but it's just a damn album. There will be ups, and there will be downs; prepare to be disappointed, GnR fans.



2. People Magazine: Hugh Jackman
I don't know; maybe I'm a little little fucked up in the head, but Hugh Jackman, right? Wolverine-Hugh Jackman? Van Helsing-Hugh Jackman?



3. George Lucas
Thank you George Lucas for raping my childhood once again. First it was Star Wars, which you started raping back in 1999 with making The Force be about fucking microbiology! I like microbio, it's cool and interesting, but little parasitic bacterium cannot make you be able to choke someone with your mind! Strike 1.

Then, I saw a trailer of EP 2: ATTACK OF THE CONES! (worst subtitle in the history of film making; even more so than Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky). Then I saw the movie.

Let me spell this out for you George...
Y-o-d-a- -w-a-s- -a- -p-u-p-p-e-t-!
And it was fucking awesome! You had him all CGI floating around on a fucking wok pan, and generally raping one of the saddest deaths I ever witnessed in film (when i was 5).

Strike fucking 2.

So onto episode III, the revenge of George's really bad ham fisted comments on politics and giving things really silly names.

Look, man. You started out so good, and you had a wonderful little universe. You had a good story with A New Hope. You had a great story with Empire. Then you had a well rounded conclusion with Jedi (except for the fucking muppets). And, because you wanted to add a personal spa to pamper your aging scrotum, with bubble jets, mineral baths and daily de-wrinkling, you decided to tell more of the story.

There's a reason why Milton's epic poem Paradise Lost is more popular and well known than Paradise Regained.

I'll now briefly list other travesties bestowed upon humanity by you,you hack of a filmmaker.
The Clone Wars, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Willow (fucking hobbit +bible+gulliver's travles ripoff), The Land Before Time (you killed littlefoot's MOM, you fucking bastard; and it has 13 sequels), Howard the Duck, and More American Graffiti. NOT to mention The StarWars Holiday Special (BEA ARTHUR!!!!!)

4. LOST
Okay, I watched the first season when it was on, and then due to various reasons, I stopped watching it. Now, I've been re-watching it with Jen, and now progressed to the third season.

J.J. Abrams is a genius. I watched Alias quite often, I liked Cloverfield as a monster movie, and his remake on Star Trek (which I haven't watched since I was a very young child) is looking promising.

You got me hooked, again. And to top it off, not ONLY is there the show, there is the ARG stuff that you seem to do after every season is done/leading up to the next season.

I am a sucker for ARGs. Year Zero, Why So Serious/The Dark Knight, Iris. And I didn't even buy Iris/Halo 3