It's so Awesome.

Oh, the things I find online. Oh, how wonderful and mysterious! Oh, how... nauseating at times!

So I think by now we've all seen some of the more ridiculous Obama related cashing-in-on-a-new-president-merch stuff such as The Coin, The Plate, The Water Bottle, and of course The Dildo.
Although I find the dildo the only one to have an actual purpose, let me just say one thing about all this merchandise. Most of these are just to rip you off (the coin, plate... to a point, the dildo), and all of them go towards other people not related to the DNC/Obama's campaign (except for the water bottle).

However, I have found something far better than ANY of the above (because, seriously, why get an Obama dildo, there are FAR better sex toys out there). Something that's so much more artistic than adapting a face to be put on a dildo or plate. Something far more imaginative than any of these.

My fellow Americans (and international readers); allow me to present to you, my latest find.
I bring you....


The Obama Action Figure™!

I do not know the specifics, as I cannot read Japanese. But I assure you there is nothing quite like the pictures you're about to see.

Click any picture to see the full size, meanwhile I'll post captions of what I think each picture is saying about The Obama Action Figure™!

The Obama Action Figure™ comes with Bad-Ass American Flag * the symbol of Pride* with Pointy spike of Justice and base of TRUTH, a stool for giving presidential Addresses, TWO different color ties to show support for the RED and BLUE states, rope of Hope (it's gold, therefore made of HOPE), Microphone for ENHANCING ACOUSTICS, and MANY DIFFERENT HANDS!!!!

Looking better than your sister's Ken Doll in a suit and tie, The President Obama Action Figure™ will help YOU protect your country from The Forces of EVIL!


President Obama's™ shoes are Faux leather for the Vegan Crowd, but also Strong enough to kick some Corperate ASS!

President Obama™ takes all issues seriously. This is a Serious Obama™, this is serious face.


USA©! USA©! USA©! USA©! USA©!!!


After a hard day fighting for truth and justice and regulation, Obama™ needs to relax and take it east by striking an awesome pose.


Sometimes President Obama™ needs to have fun with his microphone and cut loose with some karoke; just be careful, because if it's country music you make him sing....


you'll need the secret service to protect YOU from President Obama™!


President Obama™ doesn't need the Army! He's can be all he can be without the Army!


President Obama™ is well aware of the danger the Zombie horde presents; He always has his Primary Weapon...


and his secondary!


"Only a master of evil, Cheney."
Not even The Dark Side of the Force can tempt Obama-Wan Baraki™.


Thank you Cleveland! You're a Wonderful Audience! Good Night!

Things I Am Thankful For.

1. Family
I truly have a wonderful, loving family. And although I am about 1000 miles away from them at the moment, I love them, and cherish them always in my heart.

2 Friends  

I have quite a few friends, but not many who read this, I think. Although I know a few who do read this, I don't think a lot of them realize how much they are loved by me.

3. Good Entertainment
You ever have a Book, Movie, piece of Art or Song/Album really hit you? Like actually mean something to you? Not just something mainstream that you are told to like, but something you have an 'AH-HA!' moment, and it strikes something inside you. It may not even be a song you like, but you get it and understand it on some emotional level. It's more than entertainment, at that point, if it can move you. And not a cheap emotional payoff of having the good guy win, or the two lovers finally after a series of mishaps, hook up. But real emotional catharsis of laughter, tears, happyness, cynicism, irony, anger, rage.... That kind of creativity, that's what I crave in my entertainment.

Songs/Albums -

Saul Williams - Coded Language
Tool - Parabol/a 

Nine Inch Nails - Year Zero

Nine Inch Nails - The Four of Us are Dying

Films-

SLAM.
Constant Gardner
Fight Club
The Giver

Books-
House of Leaves
Stranger Than Fiction
The Dead Emcee Scrolls
God Dilusion

4. The Series of Tubes
The internets. A series of tubes that allows us to communicate, exchange ideas and gross porn, that allows us to troll on the net looking to start fights or to have meaningful discussion. Sometimes the tubes get clogged (like the last post), or sometimes we have so much tube space there's not enough torrents to clog your tube.

The internets, to me, is probably the greatest thing since sliced bread. Although, sliced bread isn't all that special. I mean, you have bread, you have a knife.... slice it yourself.

But the internet has brought me a lot of good and bad things. But mostly good. 

Good

Love- I met Jen online. Through TDT/Campdoc. And without her, my life would be very different. 

Friends- Most of the people I am on a first (or second and third) name basis online I consider friends. Camp and a few other websites have provided me with some amazing people from all over the country. And if I was ever stranded close to them, I am sure I'd have a place to crash.

Creativity- Places like Flickr, Blogger, remix.nin, Deviant Art, Photobucket serve a higher purpose than just documenting our own products on the net, but can show us other people's work, and inspire us to create something ourselves.

Weird Porn to laugh at.

Bad

Furries.
Stalkers.
Weird Porn

I have a lot to be thankful for, and I need to remember that even though I'm sarcastic and use this blog for creative ranting, and/or typing stuff to amuse you all, I can't take it too seriously. My rants are just that, rants. And I am greatful to be alive and surrounded by people who love me. And an Internets that provides me with cool people, fun stupid youtube videos, a plethora of weird porn, and a good outlet for my ranting from time to time.

Happy Day of Gluttony, Americans.
Pig out with your thing out.